Depression

 Good Morning friends! Today's blog will be about the depression side of Bipolar Disorder. Below is a quick definition of depression and some symptoms taken from the WebMd website.

Depression: An illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that affects the way a person eats, sleeps, feels about himself or herself, and thinks about things. Depression is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be wished away. People with depression cannot merely 'pull themselves together' and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people with depression. The signs and symptoms of depression include loss of interest in activities that were once interesting or enjoyable, including sex; loss of appetite, with weight loss, or overeating, with weight gain; loss of emotional expression (flat affect); a persistently sad, anxious, or empty mood; feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness; social withdrawal; unusual fatigue, low energy level, a feeling of being slowed down; sleep disturbance and insomnia, early-morning awakening or oversleeping; trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; unusual restlessness or irritability; persistent physical problems such as headaches, digestive disorders, or chronic pain that do not respond to treatment, and thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts. The principal types of depression are called major depression, dysthymia, and bipolar disease (manic-depressive disease).


We all get depressed. No matter who you are or where you are from, you will at some point in your life experience depression. Sure you can try to deny it and tell me "no no not me I don't get depressed" but I know the truth and while I applaud your attempt to puff your chest out and play tough, I urge you to stop denying your feelings and be honest with yourself. From the loss of a loved one to a breakup to unhappiness in school or work to many other reasons, we all get depressed. For those of us with conditions like Bipolar Disorder it tends to be a bit worse and occurs more often.

As I've mentioned before I've been battling depression since I was in my early teens and told you of my attempts at suicide in my life. I was so depressed a lot of the time that I just wanted to quit and end my life and I must admit that sometimes I wish my attempts had been successful, but that's the depression talking. When I am depressed I sink very far down and it is very hard for me to pick myself back up and carry on with my life and there's nothing anybody can say to "cure" my mood. People will say things like "get over it" or "it's not that bad" and for children it's even worse as they get the "what do you have to be depressed about?" question. To those who have children out there, please refrain from making those statements when your child comes to you. It is very hard for us to open up to our parents about such a thing so when we do you'd better make it worth our while because it is likely that we will start bottling up our emotions and that is NEVER good.

In nature I am a very observant fella. I watch those around me and study their behavior and I must say that I sometimes wish to myself that I would not have to deal with depression like I do and that I could just "let go" and be happy. Unfortunately however, this doesn't happen! and I realize this so what I'm doing instead is trying to create a spot where I can instead reach out to others who suffer like me. Depression is a heck of a battle but trust me when I say that you are not alone and there are a lot of us here to help you get through whatever it is you are going through. I think one of several things really wrong with society is not enough people seem to show that they care about one another. Human compassion has become very scarce and this bothers me because we all have the power to help each other but so often we avoid doing so because of the old lame excuse "it's none of my business". That way of thinking needs to change and we should do whatever we can when we see/know somebody is in need of help. Think about what they are going through, and try to imagine yourself thinking that the only solution is to end your life. In other words, put yourselves in our shoes and ask yourself how you would like it if you felt you were all alone and that your death would somehow improve the world. That is the power of depression as it truly kills your hope and spirit and leaves you questioning why you were ever even born.

Depression can also turn into so many other problems like "self medication". When depression leads to self-medication, it can make a bigger mess of the difficulties that the person is already experiencing. Often, people who are going through depression will turn to alcohol or drugs to deal with their mood and negative thoughts. It may seem like a good idea at the time. The problems that may be causing their depression seem to slip away momentarily, but the happiness and hopefulness that gives them pleasure through self-medication only lasts for a short period.This of course is one of the reasons why heavy drugs have taken over our streets. As conditions worsen and we become more and more hopeless, why not turn to a drug that will numb us to the pain? I do not condone taking hard drugs but I do not judge those that do turn to them. It is not my place to judge anybody but instead I say we need to treat the reason for them turning to drugs instead of damning them.

Always try to keep in mind that the worst feeling in the world is the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. When you feel that low and feel that weak it is a hell of a struggle to pull ones-self out of the hole and survive their depression. I know that it can be very frustrating for everybody involved from the person depressed to the family and friends of that person that wish they knew what to do to save them. All you need to know is that the key is to simply just be there and let us know that you are there for us and no matter what the problem may be you are not going to abandon us in our time of need. Offer a safe haven for us so that we don't feel like a burden on those in our life. Show that you want to help because you love and care and remember that sometimes all we need is for somebody to listen. For me, when I talk to my therapist and address my issues I am able to hear myself and without my therapist even having to speak I am able to closer examine the problem I am having and the feelings I am feeling and that does help. For those of you out there who struggle with depression and are not in therapy, GET INTO THERAPY NOW! If you can not afford it or need help send me a message and I will try to help direct you to something in your area possibly free of charge if it is in your area. Talking to a loved one or friend is great but talking to a therapist gives you a non bias outlet to vent your most deepest thoughts and feelings.

Coping Skills:

Coping skills are those skills that we use to offset disadvantages in day to day life. Coping skills can be seen as a sort of adaptation, such as the finely tuned hearing that many visually impaired people develop. Coping skills can be positive or negative. Positive coping skills help us get through situations at nearly the same level as those who do not have the disadvantage. Negative coping skills, however, may provide short-term relief or distraction, but ultimately worsen our disadvantage. A common example of a negative coping skill is the abuse of alcohol or drugs. Many mental health practitioners, particularly those who practice behavioral therapy, teach clients healthier coping skills for dealing with their issues. For a phobic client, coping skills may include deep breathing, guided imagery and utilizing a support person when facing their fears.


Talking it Out
Talking gives kids practice in verbalizing feelings, helps them feel validated, and can serve as a springboard to problem solving. Help teens identify several people with whom they feel comfortable discussing their problems. For kids who aren’t yet comfortable airing issues out loud, journaling can provide another outlet for confusing feelings. For parents of teens who won’t talk or journal, make sure that your child knows that you are available to talk anytime without judgment. Also, pay attention to their behaviors and moods so that you can identify when they are stressed.
Problem Solving
Another tool that teens need to be successful is the ability to find solutions for his or her own problems. Problem solving can be as simple as sitting down together and brainstorming a list of possible solutions to the given situation. Ask kids what they have tried before in similar situations, and what outcomes they experienced. Ask them to predict likely consequences, both positive and negative, for each possibility. Make a list of options together, and then let teens choose the one they’d like to try. Check back frequently to process how the solution is or isn’t working, and help modify as necessary. The goal here is for kids to learn to feel confident about solving their own problems.

Stress Relievers
Adults must help kids find ways to relax that fit their personality and interests. Below is a list of activities that you can encourage the teens in your life to try to see which work best for them:

• Exercise. It releases tension and energizes. This can mean working out, bike riding around the neighborhood, jogging, or even shooting hoops in the driveway.
• Eat regular and nutritious meals.
• Avoid excess caffeine intake which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation.
• Avoid illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
• Get enough sleep.
• Take a time-out. Everyone needs a break from stressful situations. Activities like listening to music, dancing, drawing, writing in a journal, playing a musical instrument, taking a long bath, reading a good book, taking a walk, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.
• Learn relaxation exercises (abdominal breathing, muscle relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, etc.). Breathing exercises are a great way to relieve stress anytime and anywhere. They’re simple to learn, simple to use, and can be done on the spot when you feel tension, immediately helping you to feel better. One very effective exercise is to ‘inhale peace’ and ‘exhale your stress’.
• Learn to say no. Being overcommitted is a major source of stress, even if the activity you’re considering is fun (such as spending time with friends). Although fun activities can be a way to relax, they can also become a source of stress when time management is not used. All aspects of your life – school work, family life, social life, structured activities (such as sports) – must be in balance to minimize stress. It’s sometimes hard to say no – especially if you’re concerned about disappointing or offending people – but learning to diplomatically refuse requests is essential to taming stress.
• Role play. Rehearse and practice situations which cause stress. One example is taking a speech class if talking in front of a class makes you anxious.
• Develop organizational skills, such as time management and the ability to break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.
• Learn to feel good about doing a competent or “good enough” job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others. It’s important to push yourself to do your best, but perfection isn’t possible.
• Listen to music during your regular activities. Music has proven health and stress relief benefits, and can be easily played during daily life to relieve stress.
• Build a network of friends who help you cope in a positive way.
• Develop a positive attitude. Optimists and positive thinkers experience better health, less stress, and more ‘luck’ in life. Decrease negative self talk by challenging negative thoughts about yourself with more positive, or at lease neutral, thoughts. While it takes a little practice to develop a more positive frame of mind, the practice takes little extra time and can really change your whole experience of life and how you live it.

 
Additional Ideas for Parents to Help Teens Cope With Stress

• Compliment children when they do well.
• Don’t burden them with your problems. But, do tell children about the family’s goals.
• Give your children ample time and attention to talk. Often, that is exactly what kids are craving, though they usually won’t come out and ask for it. Listen to them without interruption. Give them respect. Don’t belittle them or make light of the situation that is stressing them out. To you their problem may be trivial, but to a child the problem may feel huge. Use the problem solving skills described above to help them realize the true consequences of the situation and work through the issue.
• Use humor appropriately to buffer bad feelings and situations. A child who learns to use humor will be better able to keep things in perspective.
• Don’t overload your child with too many after-school activities and responsibilities. Let children learn to pace themselves. Don’t enroll them in every class that comes along, and don’t expect them to be first in everything.
• Set a good example. Demonstrate self-control and coping skills. Your child can benefit by seeing how you cope successfully with stress.

Kids who don’t have an available repertoire of coping skills can easily turn to rage, violence, or self harm when upset and vulnerable. On the other hand, when we work to help kids develop a full toolkit of positive coping skills, we give them alternatives that can help them turn problem situations into positive outcomes.

 I must go and prepare breakfast for the wife and child now. I hope you will find this blog helpful and of course I welcome your questions and comments. Anybody feeling depressed right now just hang in there and stay with us! You are not alone and we will get through this together! *If any of you are having suicidal or any harmful thoughts of any nature please contact the suicide hotline immediately National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and please fight the urge. Be well friends!

I wish you all good mental health on this Sunday, and hope you all have a great day. It is my birthday tomorrow!!! 30 years old! I only wish my Mama was alive to say happy birthday.

Joe